All Along (aka I dumped the Prince for Jesus)

Here's what happens when you mix faith, late nites and a glass of wine! It is the liberation from an ideal to the reality of God (I think it's more a girl thing - to be lost in a world of modern day princes and knights in shining armour...but maybe some of you guys can relate). Anyways, it's a silly song I wrote with my friend Ryan who was visiting last week from BC, but don't expect me to sing it for you - he has a WAY better voice and range, and MAD guitar skills. I'm working on it...

Darkness shrouds a painted sky
Pastel colours fade to grey
And the kisses of the real
Abandoning my soul
Naked and alone

Pieces from the castle
Now ruins on the ground
And the dreams I've built beneath me
To hold me firm and tall
They never held at all

The curtain falls
The fairytale has ended
And left you in the book where you belong
The final call
To find the Love that loved me all along

Forgotten dreams that held a face
Fade to mist and lose their shape
See the prince upon his back
See the fiction turn to fact
The closing of the act

Pages filled with fantasy
Laid to rest on dusty shelves
I've grown past these silly fables
You found you've lost your crown?
We all fall down

The curtain falls
The fairytale has ended
And left you in the book where you belong
The final call
To find the Love that loved me all along

cocoon

i close my eyes
and crawl inside
self-spun safety
the world forgotten
each reality
woven into secrecy
blind eyes cannot see
this world of make-believe
a bruised and battered heart
lays dormant - sleeping
awaiting the kiss of spring

inside

I'll let you inside
the place where I hide
My heart to confide
In Your hand of grace
You've been denied
By selfish pride
The doors lay open wide...
Come see me for the first time, face to face.

break up

once inseperable
now a shadow
remains
your fingers
twisted around my heart
waiting
on a moment
an opportunity
an open door
relentless
a voice whispers
so familiar
it feels like home
no longer
can my mind betray
the truth
it's over.

you won't let go
walking away
is never easy
once the old man falls
the distance
the seperating of lives
a heart, torn
salvaged.

i am better
without you
if you could only see
only let go
how often
a backward glance
returns me to salt
bittertaste
upon my lips
the memory of your kiss
a heart pangs
with history
repeating
smoldering fire
all consuming
tamed with a spoken word
truth
you can't hurt me anymore
it's over.

go to sleep old man
stop grasping
this heart is no longer yours
i don't belong
to you
silence
it's over
my heart
my mind
a war within
myself.

the ideal

like a flower
plucked in favour
held in glass walls
an eye to savour
sourceless
frozen
captive
a petal falls
fading
death has never been more beautiful

on hold

waiting
on a moment
to make sense
of these fragments,
to fit
the pieces.
meaning,
direction -
hold my hand...
walk me through
this maze,
an open book.
i'm awaiting
the final chapter,
a journey lost -
impatience -
i missed the plot,
the story.

Sister

The night seemed so long -
was wondering if it'd ever break,
or if this rain would stop falling
from these eyes.
Was there reason to hope
lost in this night?
Would morning
ever stretch across this sky?
But happiness has found you
as each new day finds the sun
and you realized for the first time
your life had just begun
...and it's so good to see you smile
to see the sadness washed away
a broken heart restored
emptied hands hold so much more
it's so good to see you smile.

Could I have borne your pain
Tears would be mine to share,
Could I have warmed your heart
No cross would be too much to bear...
But it wasn't my place
To fill the empty space
No, it wasn't my face
That would dawn upon your night
And bring you to the light.

untitled

I rest my weary head
in the arms of lonely darkenss
wishing to see beyond this bed
in my cold and empty room.
No sliver of light
to awaken my hopes,
no kiss goodnight
to bid a peace-filled sleep.
Vain repetition
breathes in
breathes out
of a heart that pounds
each broken dream,
each shattered hope.
A tear to stain
a pillow -
no one shall see,
no one shall know
the loneliness behind the smile,
the emptiness inside my heart,
the ache
that breaks
a strong front into a silent whimper
as I lay here
in the arms
of a lonely night.

the cross

Look at the cross
O child of pain!
Cast your eyes
On that tree of shame.
See Him who hangs
With forsaken face.
Look at the One
Nailed in your place.

capernwray

With eyes closed shut
I revisit the halls
Of distant memory
I am back
In a place I had forgotten
Each corner the same
Every picture hanging on the wall
Just as I had left it
I eavesdrop
On a forgotten conversation
And remember
How it used to be
Back there
Back then
A face
I now see clearly
A heart
Knit to my own
A soul
I hold in my hands
As it vanishes
My heart aches
With the realization
Of the time
The space
The priorities
That now seperates us
You feel farther away
Than I had pretended
The emptiness
I had all but forgotten
Until I closed my eyes
And found you
Waiting for me
In those halls of memory
Just where I had left you.

chalk drawing

see the pretty picture
sketched upon the pavement
blended pastels
portray a world of sunshine
look, but don't touch
you'll smear the lines of formality
i'll let you inside
the painting
if you promise
to be careful
in a land where few have gone

no longer can i deny you the calling
to jump inside the drawing

the picture looks different now
from the inside looking out
a portrait comes alive
there's nowhere for me to hide
now you're here inside

you catch a glimpse of
this painted world of mine
as rain clouds arise
in pastel blue skies
and leaves a puddle on the pavement

I Only Love You As a Friend

"I only love you as a friend"
Tho when your face from me turns 'way
My heart, with mixed emotions, sways
Yet, myself do I betray.

"I only love you as a friend"
Tho your smile, a warmth may bring
Happiness to everything,
To this lie, steadfast I cling.

"I only love you as a friend"
Tho I look with love-haunted eyes
They are blinded by my lies,
While a captive soul, in silence cries.

"I only love you as a friend"
Tho the laws of heart I breach,
I, for self-safety, teach
To put myself beyond all reach.

"I only love you as a friend"
At a loss these words given, received
My heart, of joy and love, bereaved.
Both you and I have been deceived.

sacrifice

i heard the call
the knock at the door
can i go on living
as i had before?
what i know in thought
my actions will deny...
to find new life
something old must die.

when i gave my life to Jesus
did i give it all away?
when i asked Him to come in,
did i plan for Him to stay?
is it just a title?
or a change of life?
is it a passing feeling?
or a sacrifice?

am i willing to surrender
the will to live for me?
will i surpass the pleasures
that nailed Him to the tree?
what has been the cost?
will i pay the price?
will it be with words?
or will it be my life?

my world

my world
a tiny place
without language
without race

The Hill

A silhouette stands on a hill
A wandering heart, slowed to still.
With hands upraised
In silent praise
She basks in this moment of glory.

Thankful tears emboss her face
Turned towards heaven's place.
In her tired eyes
Triumph lies...
Each teardrop tells a story.

Upon this hill a soul is blessed,
Travelling feet find peaceful rest.
Ministering grace
From solitude's face...
Here you find not an earthly care.

A glance at the pathway she left behind
With steeps, cliffs, valleys - intertwined.
A path torn asunder
Causes me to wonder...
How often she fell before she got there.T